Take this test with your mate. Insert your spouse’s name in the blank and answer the questions as you think your spouse sees you. (Copy this sheet if possible or keep your answers on a separate sheet.) 

Does _____________________ think you . . . (answer yes or no)

  1. are considerate of others’ feelings?
  2. allow money or things to spoil human relationships?
  3. share how much you need him/her?
  4. read enough on the subject of husband/wife relations?
  5. spend too much time on the computer?
  6. talk excessively?
  7. do not share enough of your inner feelings?
  8. use words/phrases that are too easily misunderstood?
  9. have an overly critical attitude?
  10. have too much tendency to speak for the other person?
  11. have a tendency to interrupt another person?
  12. use too many words that belittle others?
  13. change the subject when it gets too uncomfortable for you? Or won’t even bring it up?
  14. nag too often?
  15. have trouble looking others in the eye?
  16. choose “peace” over sharing honest feelings?
  17. make too many excuses?
  18. clam up too often?
  19. watch too much TV?
  20. read too much when at home?
  21. are “off somewhere” (daydreaming) when he/she is talking to you?
  22. are sensitive when he/she is discouraged, troubled, or hurt?
  23. are complimentary often enough?
  24. criticize him/her too often?
  25. are sarcastic too often?
  26. honestly try to see another person’s point of view?
  27. honestly enjoy listening to another’s point of view?
    —From What Every Family Needs, Carl Brecheen and Paul Faulkner
”Dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” 1 Peter 3:7


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