Some Headlines We’d Like to See This Year
Crime Wave Plummets as Nation Turns to God
Millions turn to Jesus; Huge crowds on Sundays
Elected Officials Turn Salaries Over to Poor
‘They need it more than we do,’ says wealthy senator.
Pornography Websites and Movies Close in Record NumbersÂ
‘People aren’t interested anymore,’ complains adult movie maker.
Drug Dealers Seek Honest OccupationsÂ
‘So many people have quit, there’s no money in it anymore,’ complains a former drug lord.
Peace Comes to the Middle EastÂ
Terrorist attacks ease as peace reigns.
Nationwide Trend: Teenagers Stop Smoking
Tobacco companies complain of record losses.