Seems like it never fails…

  • Projectors always work before the class or meeting begins.
  • The probability of the preacher tripping over the mic cord is greater on “Bring A Friend” Sunday than any other week.
  • The likelihood of a child’s giving a humorous response is directly proportional to the seriousness of the discussion.
  • The largest Bible class will show up when the teacher feels his/her worst.
  • No matter how many bulletins you print, you’ll always need one more.
  • Member living 15 miles away will be 15 minutes early; members living two blocks away will be 15 minutes late.
  • Saying “Let us pray” or singing  “Just As I Am” causes babies to cry.
  • The shorter the agenda, the longer the  business meeting.
  • When you answer the Bible teacher’s question right, nobody remembers; when you’re wrong, nobody forgets.
  • The longest Scripture readings always come with the longest sermons.
  • The furnace only fails when the outside temperature is more than 20 degrees below zero. The air conditioner only fails when the outside temperature is 90 degrees or above.
  • When the preacher misspeaks in a sermon, at least half of those taking notes will write the remark down as an important thought from the sermon.


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